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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
When Huan Xuanwu died, Huan Nanjun was five years old and the mourning period had just ended. Huan's chariot and cavalry went to see off his former civil and military officials. He pointed to Nanjun and said, "These are all your family's former officials." Xuan responded by weeping loudly, and those around him were moved. The charioteer always looked at his own seat and said, "When Lingbao has grown up, this seat should be returned to him." He loved Ju more than his own son.
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
Duke Huan said in his bed, "If I stay like this, I will be laughed at by Wen and Jing!" Then he sat up and said, "Since I cannot leave a good reputation for future generations, I am not worthy of being infamous for eternity, am I?"
The general principles of all rituals are to follow the heaven and earth, follow the four seasons, follow the yin and yang, and follow human nature, so they are called rituals. Those who criticize them do not know where rituals come from. Rituals, good and bad, are different, and cannot be interrelated, which is derived from yin and yang. There are four rules for mourning, which change according to the situation, which is derived from the four seasons. There are grace, reason, moderation, and power, which are derived from human nature. Grace is benevolence, reason is righteousness, moderation is ritual, and power is knowledge. Benevolence, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom are all human nature.
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
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