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During the funeral of Confucius, two or three disciples all wore mourning clothes and went out. They wore mourning clothes when they were in a group, but not when they went out.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
Confucius said: "I ate at Shao Shi and was full, and Shao Shi fed me with courtesy. When I offered sacrifices, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food is not enough for offerings.' When I ate, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food, I dare not hurt my son.'"
Also, the condolence ceremony of the princes is treated as if they were treated as princes. When the lady arrives, she enters from the gate and ascends from the side steps, while the prince is in the east. The rest is the same as the funeral ceremony. The sister-in-law does not caress the uncle, and the uncle does not caress the sister-in-law.
When Liu Qingsun was in the Taifu Mansion, he was framed by many people of the time. Only Yu Zisong was so absorbed in worldly affairs that he had no time to rest. Later, because he was frugal by nature and had a wealthy family, he persuaded the Grand Tutor to exchange it for tens of millions, hoping that the emperor would be stingy and he could take advantage of it. The Grand Tutor asked Yu in front of everyone. Yu was drunk at the time, with his cap falling on the table. He put his head to pick it up and replied slowly, "I have two or three thousand shawls at home. You can take whatever you want." Then he obeyed. Later, someone told Yu about this, and Yu said, "It can be said that one is using the concerns of a villain to judge the heart of a gentleman."
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
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