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Lady Wang Jiangzhou said to Xie E, "Why don't you make any progress? It's because you are so preoccupied with worldly affairs that your talent is limited."
The Master said: "The great man does not get close to those who are virtuous, but trusts those who are humble; the people are lost because of this, and the teaching is troubled because of this. The Book of Songs says: "If they seek me, it is as if they cannot get me; if they hold my enemies, they will not be able to help me. ’Jun Chen said: ‘If you have not seen a sage, you are not able to see him; if you have seen a sage, you cannot follow him. ’”
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
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