恶心笑话

Fei Mo Junhan 466万字 383800人读过连载

《恶心笑话》

Wang Dun led his troops to Daheng, and Emperor Ming came out of the central hall. Wen Qiao was the prefect of Danyang. The emperor ordered him to cut the big beam, but it was not cut yet. The emperor became furious and glared at him. Everyone around him was terrified. Summon all the gentlemen. When Qiao arrived, he did not thank him, but only asked for wine and roast meat. Wang Dao arrived in a moment, knelt barefoot on the ground and apologized, saying: "The majesty of Heaven is with Yan, so Wen Qiao has no time to apologize." Qiao then knelt down to apologize, and the emperor was relieved. Everyone admired the king's wise words.

When Confucius passed by the side of Mount Tai, a woman was crying at a grave. Confucius stood up and listened to her. He asked Zilu to ask her, "Your crying seems to be deeply worried." She said, "Yes, my uncle died of a tiger in the past, my husband also died there, and now my son has died there too." The Master asked, "Why don't you leave?" She said, "No harsh government." The Master said, "My boy, you know it. Harsh government is more fierce than a tiger."

When the stable burned, Confucius bowed to the villagers who came to the fire. He bowed once, and the officials twice. It is also the way to express condolences. Confucius said: "Guan Zhong encountered thieves and took two people with him. The king made them public officials and said: "The people he played with are good people!" After Guan Zhong died, Duke Huan made him mourn for him. The practice of officials mourning for officials started from Guan Zhong, and it was ordered by the king."

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更新时间：2025-03-22

My husband is always holding me back.

Feng Jiawu

Do not pull the coming, do not report the past, do not blaspheme the gods, do not follow the wrong, do not predict the unknown. Scholars rely on virtue and enjoy art; workers rely on law and enjoy persuasion. Do not criticize clothes and tools, do not be pedantic of words. The beauty of words is solemn and majestic; the beauty of the court is full of people; the beauty of sacrifice is orderly and majestic; the beauty of carriages and horses is not timid; the beauty of phoenixes is solemn and peaceful. Ask the king's sons, the elder one says: "He can follow the affairs of the state"; the younger one says: "He can control" or "He can't control". When asked about the age of a senior official's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can follow the music of the musicians"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can be correct in the music of the musicians" but he cannot be correct in the music of the musicians". When asked about the age of a scholar's son, if he is older, he will say, "He can plough the fields"; if he is younger, he will say, "He can carry firewood" but he cannot carry firewood. He cannot walk when holding a jade or tortoise shell, nor when he is in the hall or on the city wall. He cannot walk in a military carriage; the intermediary cannot bow.

Live up to Changsheng and live up to you

Wusun Huan Huan

All the Ruan brothers were good at drinking. When Zhongrong and his clan members gathered together for a while, they no longer used ordinary cups to drink, but used large jars to hold wine, and they sat around and drank together. Sometimes a group of pigs came to drink, and they would go straight up and drink together.

The prince's concubine always wants to kill me

Fei Mo Chaolin

Wang Sizhou once went to Wang Chixu on the snow. Sizhou said that there was something wrong with Chi's mood, so he became unhappy. Sizhou felt evil, so he went to him on a sedan chair, held his arm and said, "How can you be worthy of discussing this with me, old man?" The Chi pushed his hand away and said, "You are as cold as a ghost's hand, and you are trying to grab my arm by force!"

Star River in my dream

Wanqi Banyan

What is a "mao"? It is to cover the body. From the funeral to the small funeral, if you don't set up a "mao", you will be exposed. So you set up a "mao" after the funeral. Someone asked Zengzi, "Is it like wrapping up the rest after sending it away, or wrapping up the rest after eating? Do gentlemen wrap up the rest after eating?" Zengzi said, "My son, have you not seen the great feast? In a grand feast, after the feast, the three animals are rolled up and returned to the guesthouse. Parents are treated as guests, so they mourn! Have you not seen a grand feast? "If it is not a funeral, why ask and give?

The cute little cutie in the group has become a top-level boss

Wang Yi

During the king's funeral, the sons, senior officials, and sons of the family did not eat for three days. The ... At the funeral of a senior official, the host's family, the elders and the sons of the family all eat porridge; all the scholars eat sparse food and drink water; wives and concubines eat sparse food and drink water. The scholars do the same. After the funeral, the host eats sparse food and drinks water, and does not eat vegetables and fruits; the women do the same. The king, the officials and the scholars are the same. Eat vegetables and fruits when it is fine, and eat meat when it is auspicious. Do not wash your hands when eating porridge in a bowl, but wash your hands when eating in bamboo baskets. Eat vegetables with soy sauce. Those who start eating meat should eat dried meat first, and those who start drinking wine should drink sweet wine first. During the period of mourning, there are three things not to eat: eating: eating sparse food and drinking water, not eating vegetables and fruits. After the funeral in March, eat meat and drink wine. At the end of the period of mourning, do not eat meat or drink wine. When the father is still alive, eat the mother and the wife. During the ninth month of mourning, eating and drinking are the same as during the period of mourning. Eat meat and drink wine, and do not share it with others. During the fifth and third month of mourning, do not eat once, and do not eat twice. Before the funeral, eat meat and drink wine, and do not share it with others. Uncle, stepmother, former master, and eldest son eat meat and drink wine. If you can't eat porridge, you can make soup with vegetables; if you are sick, you can eat meat and drink wine. At fifty, you don't have to mourn, but at seventy, you only have mourning clothes. After the funeral, if the king eats it, then eat it; if the friends of the senior officials and father eat it, then eat it. Don't avoid rice and meat, and if there is wine, then refuse it.

Who is as bright as the sun, blurring my eyes

Li Wenrong

It is said in the past: When Prime Minister Wang crossed the Yangtze River, he only taught three principles: to have no sorrow or joy in voice, to keep in good health, and to express one's thoughts fully. However, the winding path of life is everywhere.

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