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The Wei Dynasty appointed King Wen of Jin as Duke and prepared nine gifts, but King Wen refused to accept them. The ministers, generals and officers should go to the government office to give instructions. Sikong Zheng Chongchi sent a letter to Ruan Ji asking for literature. At that time, Ji was at Yuan Xiaoni's house. He was helped up from a drunken stupor and wrote a letter, but without any final word, he just wrote it and gave it to the messenger. People at that time thought it was a magic pen.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wang Gong returned from Kuaiji, Wang Da looked at him. Seeing him sitting on a six-foot-long mat, he said to Gong, "You came from the east, so you should have this thing. You can give me one." Gong said nothing. After the emperor leaves, those who are sitting there will be carried away to see him off. Since there were no other seats, he sat on the table. The Queen was very surprised when she heard this and said, "I thought you had too much, so I asked for it." He replied, "My father-in-law is not respectful enough. A respectful person has nothing to gain."
Xie E respected his elder sister very much, and Zhang Xuan often praised his younger sister, hoping to rival her. There was a man named Jini, who visited the homes of both Zhang and Xie. People ask about its advantages and disadvantages? The answer was: "Mrs. Wang has a relaxed and cheerful demeanor, so she has the air of a forest dweller. Mrs. Gu has a pure heart and a beautiful reflection of her beauty, so she is naturally the beauty of the boudoir."
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
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