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Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
Shi Chong made bean porridge for his guests, and it was ready in a snap. In constant winter, you can get leeks, duckweed and amaranth. Moreover, the ox was not as big and strong as Wang Kai's ox, but he went out with Kai and set out very late, trying to get into Luo City. He followed the ox for dozens of steps and was as fast as a bird. Kai's ox could not catch up with him at all. These three things always make me feel regretful. He then secretly bribed the governor and the charioteer under Chong's tent and asked them the reason. The governor said, "Beans are difficult to cook, so just grind them into powder in advance. When guests come, make white porridge for them. Chives and duckweed are made by mashing leek roots and mixing them with wheat seedlings." He then asked the driver how the ox was moving. The driver said, "The ox is not slow at all. It's just that the driver cannot control it in time. If you let the shaft lean to the side in a hurry, the ox will move forward." Kai followed his advice and competed for the lead. When Shi Chong heard about it later, he killed all the informants.
Men and women do not sit together, use the same shackles and towels, or combs, and are not taught in person. The sisters-in-law and uncles do not ask about each other, and the mothers do not wash their clothes. External words do not enter the bundle, and internal words do not leave the bundle.
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent鈥檚 funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased鈥檚 funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, 鈥淚s there a fixed sound for crying parents?鈥 Zeng Zi replied, 鈥淎 baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?鈥 鈥
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