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Men and women have different heights. When a man is twenty, he is crowned and given a name. In front of the father, it is the son's name; in front of the king, it is the minister's name. When a girl is betrothed, she is given a name after she reaches the age of marriage.
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father鈥檚 insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
Xi Jiabin said to Xie Gong: "Although I did not kneel down to talk deeply, my thoughts were profound." He also said: "Youjun visited Jiabin." Jiabin heard it and said: "They cannot be called visits, but they can be called friends!" Xie Gong thought Jiabin's words were right.
Yu (Ma Fei) of Kuaiji was a knight-errant like Huan Xuanwu during the reign of Emperor Yuan. He was a man of talent and reason who was highly regarded. Prime Minister Wang once said to (Ma Fei): "Kong Yu has the talent but not the reputation, Ding Tan has the reputation but not the talent. Who can have both?" (Ma Fei) died before he could achieve his goal.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
After Confucius was buried in Fang, he said: "I have heard that in ancient times, there were tombs but no graves; now there are mounds, and people from all directions can be recognized." So he sealed it and made it four feet high.
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