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Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Bian Wenli lost his composure when meeting Yuan Fenggao. Feng Gao said, "When Emperor Yao invited Xu You, he showed no shame. Why are you wearing your clothes upside down?" Wen Li replied, "Your Excellency has just arrived, and Emperor Yao's virtue is not yet well known, so the lowly people are wearing their clothes upside down."
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Fan Ning made Yuzhang, and on the eighth day he invited Buddha to have a board. The monks were puzzled and wanted to give an answer. A young novice monk at the end of the group said, "The Buddha's silence means that he has given his approval." The crowd agreed with his meaning.
The Lord of Wei was the brother-in-law of Xiao Zuzhou. Xie Gong asked Sun Sengnu, "What do your family say about the Lord of Wei?" Sun replied, "They say he is a hereditary successor." Xie said, "That's not true. The Lord of Wei is a man of reason and justice." At that time, he was compared to Yin Hongyuan.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Only the most holy man in the world can be wise and knowledgeable, enough to be in charge; generous and gentle, enough to be tolerant; strong and resolute, enough to be firm; dignified and upright, enough to be respectful; meticulous and discerning, enough to distinguish. He is vast and profound, and he always releases it. He is as vast as the sky, and as deep as the abyss. When he sees it, the people all respect it, when he speaks, the people all believe it, and when he acts, the people all praise it. Therefore, his reputation spreads throughout China and extends to the barbarians. Wherever boats and cars can reach, wherever human power can reach, wherever the sky covers, wherever the earth carries, wherever the sun and the moon shine, wherever frost and dew fall, all living beings respect their parents, so he is said to be in harmony with heaven.
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