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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When asked about the age of the emperor, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “He can follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is older; he should answer, “He cannot follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a senior official, he should answer, “He can drive when he is older; he cannot drive when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a scholar, he should answer, “He can handle the formalities of the reception when he is older; he cannot handle the formalities of the reception when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a commoner, he should answer, “He can carry firewood when he is older; he cannot carry firewood when he is younger.” When asked about the wealth of the king, he should answer, “He can cook food with his own strength, and he does not need to use sacrificial utensils and clothes.” When asked about the wealth of a scholar, he should answer, “He can carry firewood with his own strength.” When asked about the wealth of common people, they should answer by counting their livestock.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Lu Zhi asked Lu Shiheng in the crowd: "What are Lu Xun and Lu Kang to you?" Lu Shiheng replied: "You are like Lu Yu and Lu Ting." Shilong was dismayed. After leaving the house, he said to his brother, "Why are you like this? How could he not know me?" Shi Heng said sternly, "My ancestor's name is known throughout the country, how could he not know me? How dare you, you devil!" The debaters doubted the superiority of the two Lu brothers, and Xie Gong decided it based on this.
Jia Gonglu's second wife, Guo, was extremely jealous. She gave birth to a boy named Limin, who gave birth to Zaizhou. When Chong returned from outside, his wet nurse was holding the child in the courtyard. The child jumped for joy when he saw Chong, and Chong went into the wet nurse's arms and cried. Guo saw this from a distance and thought Chong loved his wet nurse, so he killed her. The child cried out of sorrow and refused to drink the other's milk, and thus died. Queen Guo never had any children.
Yin Zhongjun once went to Liu Yin's place to speak clearly. After a long time, Yin Li was slightly defeated, You kept on talking, and Liu did not answer him either. After Yin left, he said, "You are a peasant boy, you are trying to learn to speak your language."
People at that time described Wang Youjun as "floating like a cloud and swift like a startled dragon."
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