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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
A filial son must think about things in advance when he is about to offer sacrifices; he must prepare things in advance; he must be empty in order to manage them. After the palace is built, the walls and houses are built, and all the things are ready, the husband and wife take a bath together, wear the best clothes and flatter to offer the sacrifices. It is clear and orderly, as if he cannot overcome it or will lose it. Isn't this the deepest filial piety! The offerings and sacrifices are presented, the rituals and music are arranged, and the officials are prepared. Then they are presented with respect and respect. Then they are explained to the gods and spirits, so that they may be worshipped. "Maybe they may be worshipped" is the aspiration of the filial son. When the filial son offers sacrifice, he should be sincere and sincere, trustworthy and trustworthy, respectful and respectful, and ceremonial without going beyond the limit. He must be respectful when he advances and retreats, as if he were obeying orders from his parents, so that he may be ordered. The filial son's sacrifice is understandable. When he stands, he is respectful and humble, when he advances, he is respectful and happy, and when he offers, he is respectful and eager; when he retreats and stands, he is as if he is about to receive an order; when he has finished and retreats, he has a look of respect and courtesy on his face. When the filial son offers sacrifice, if he stands without bowing, he is stubborn; when he advances without happiness, he is distant; when he offers without desire, he does not love; when he retreats and stands, he is not as good as if he were ordered, he is arrogant; when he has finished and retreats, he has no look of respect and courtesy, and he has forgotten his origin. If he offers sacrifice in this way, he has failed. A filial son who has deep love must have a harmonious temperament; a harmonious temperament must have a happy expression; a happy expression must have a gentle expression. A filial son is like holding a jade, like offering a fullness, and is full of it, as if he cannot win, as if he is about to lose it. Sternness, dignity, and solemnity are not the way to serve one's parents, but the way to become an adult.
When serving, you must leave the seat; if you don’t leave, you must leave the party of the king. If you don’t go to the front to get on the seat, it is called jumping the seat. If you sit alone and don’t use the full length of the mat, read and eat, then level, and the bowl is one foot away from the mat. If you give food to someone and the king is the guest, then order him to offer sacrifices, and then offer sacrifices; first eat, argue and taste the food, drink and wait. If there is anyone who wants to taste food, he should wait until the king has finished eating, then eat, eat, drink and wait. If the king orders food, and food is close to him, he should order him to taste it, and then he will eat what he wants. Whenever you eat food far away, you must follow the food near you. You dare not eat before the king covers his hands; after the king has eaten, he eats and eats, and eating and eating is three meals. After the king has finished, he takes the rice and sauce, and then leaves and gives it to the followers. Whenever you serve food, you don’t eat everything; you don’t get full from eating from others. Only water and porridge are not offered as a sacrifice, and if you offer it as a sacrifice, it is humiliating for your peers. If the king gives you a cup, you should cross the table and bow twice to receive it, and then go up to the table to offer it. Drink the cup and wait for the king to finish the cup, and then give the empty cup. When a gentleman drinks, he will be ashamed when he receives one cup, and he will talk about it after two cups. After three cups, he will leave with a smile. When he leaves, he will sit down and take his shoes, and then take his shoes away. When sitting on the left, he will take the right, and when sitting on the right, he will take the left. All vessels must be served with dark wine, only the emperor's vessel is served, only the common people are served with wine, the side vessels of the officials are served with a wooden pole, and the side vessels of the scholars are served with a ban.
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