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Daily life after marriage

Wang Gong wanted to invite Jiang Lunu to be the chief secretary, so he went to Jiang in the morning, but Jiang was still in the tent. The king sat down, not daring to speak immediately. It took a long time before he got there, but Jiang didn't respond. He called for someone to bring him some wine, drank a bowl himself, and did not share any with the king. Wang laughed and said, "Why do I have to drink alone?" Jiang said, "Do you want to drink too?" He asked him to pour more wine for Wang. After Wang finished drinking, he was able to leave. Before leaving the house, Jiang sighed and said, "It is difficult for people to judge for themselves."

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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.

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Zeng Zi asked: "Do you mourn for three years?" Confucius said: "In the three-year mourning, you should be dressed, not stand in a group, and do not travel. Gentlemen use etiquette to embellish their feelings. If you mourn for three years, isn't it empty?" Zeng Zi asked: "The officials and scholars can get rid of their private mourning, but they have the monarch's mourning clothes. How can they get rid of it?" Confucius said: "If you have the monarch's mourning clothes on your body, you dare not wear them privately. How can you get rid of them? So it is not removed after the time has passed. In the case of the king's mourning, mourning is removed before offering sacrifices, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "Is it okay not to remove mourning for parents?" Confucius said, "The ancient kings established rituals, and did not perform them after the time has passed, which is a ritual; it is not that they cannot do it, but they are worried that it is too much. Therefore, a gentleman does not offer sacrifices after the time has passed, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "When the king dies, after the funeral, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Return home and live at home. If there are important things, go to the king's place and see him off morning and evening." He said, "After the king has been buried, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off." He said, "If the king has not buried his parents, and the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off. If there are important things, go back and see him off morning and evening. For officials, the old man in the house will perform the ritual; for scholars, the descendants will perform the ritual. The wife of a great official, if there is a serious matter, should also go to the king's place, morning and night. "

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There were many famous scholars in Sima Taifu's mansion, most of whom were outstanding at the time. Yu Wenkang said: "Seeing Zisong among them, he always thinks he is a god."

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Minor burial, the host sits in the room, the mistress faces east, and then burial. Final burial, the host jumps, and the mistress does the same. The host exposes his hair and wears hemp, while the lady wears her hair in a bun and wears hemp in the room. The curtains are removed, and men and women carry the corpse to the hall and bow down: the king bows to the guest of state and the ministers and scholars bow to the ministers and ministers at their seats, and bow three times beside the scholar; the lady also bows to the lady of the king in the hall, the wife of the minister and the scholar's wife bows specially, and the lady bows to all the guests in the hall. When the host takes the throne, he wears a sash and dances. In the case of the mother's death, he takes the throne and takes off his clothes, then he offers a sacrifice. The mourners wear fur coats, add a military sash and sash, and dance with the host. In the case of the king's death, the Yu people bring out wooden horns, the Di people bring out pots, and the Yong people bring out tripods. The Sima hangs them, and the officials take the place of mourning. The officials who take the place of mourning do not hang pots, and the scholars who take the place of mourning do not use officials. The king's hall has two candles on the top and two candles on the bottom, the senior officials have one candle on the top and two candles on the bottom, and the scholars have one candle on the top and one candle on the bottom. The guests go out and clear the curtains. Cry for the corpse in the hall, the host is in the east, the outsiders are in the west, and the women face the south. Women do not go down the hall to greet or see off guests, and do not cry when they go down the hall; men do not cry when they see people outside the bedroom. If there is no female host, the male host bows to the female guest inside the bedroom door; if there is no male host, the female host bows to the male guest at the steps below the east. If the child is young, he will be held in mourning clothes, and people will bow for him; if the latter is not present, the person with a title will decline, and the person without a title will bow for him. If it is within the inner chamber, then wait for it; if it is outside the inner chamber, then the funeral can be done. There is no funeral without a successor, but there is no funeral without a master.