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When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Man Fen is afraid of the wind. When Emperor Wu of Jin was sitting, there was a glazed screen in the north window, which looked dense but sparse, and he looked excited and embarrassed. The emperor laughed at him. Fen replied: "I am like a cow from Wu, panting when I see the moon."
Wang Zhongzu and Liu Zhenchang went to Yinzhongjun for a talk. After the talk, they were all taken away. Liu said to the king, "The source is really good." The king said, "You have fallen into the clouds and mist."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
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