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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Shan Gong was about to go to select officials, he wanted to recommend Ji Kang; Kang wrote to him to break up with him.
Yuan Yang once visited Liu Hui, but Hui was sleeping inside and had not yet woken up. Yuan Yin composed a poem to tune it: "The horn pillow is as bright as the silk, and the brocade quilt is as rotten as the long mat." Liu Shang, the daughter of Emperor Ming of Jin, saw the poem and was dissatisfied, saying: "Yuan Yang, a madman left over from the ancient times!"
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
Hua Xin and Wang Lang both took refuge on a boat. There was a man who wanted to seek refuge, but Xin refused. Lang said, "Fortunately, there is still time, so why not?" Later, the enemy caught up with him, and the king wanted to abandon the people he was carrying. Xin said, "This is exactly why I was suspicious in the first place. Now that he has entrusted himself to me, why should I abandon him so quickly?" So he took Zheng with him as before. The world uses this to determine the superiority and inferiority of Hua and Wang.
Someone asked Yin Yuanyuan: "The kings and nobles of the time compared you to Pei Shudao. What do you think?" Yin said: "So you should be compared to Pei Shudao because you can see through the dark."
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
A senior official starts to work at the age of seventy. If he is not thanked, he must be given a stick and forced to do the work with women. Go to all directions, riding in a safe carriage. If one calls himself "old man", he will use his name when he is in his own country; if one is asked about something in another country, he will be sure to tell them the customs.
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