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When Du Yu arrived in Jingzhou, he stopped at Qili Bridge and all the court officials came to pay their respects to him. When he was young, he was humble, fond of heroism, and was not satisfied with material things. Since Yang Ji was a famous figure, he was so brave and handsome that he left without sitting down. After a while, He Changyu came and asked, "Where is Yang Youwei?" The guest answered, "He left without sitting down just now." Changyu said, "He must be riding his horse under the Daya Gate." When they went to the Daya Gate, they indeed saw a large cavalry parade. The long carriage embraced the inner carriage and they were carried back together, and they sat as before.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Emperor Xiaowu asked Wang Shuang, "How do you compare to your brother?" Wang replied, "You are both elegant and outstanding. I am not as good as you. Loyalty and filial piety cannot be imitated by others!"
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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