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The happiness of letting go

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Xie Gong said: "The wise and sages leave people behind, and their leisure time is also close." His sons and nephews did not agree with him. The Duke sighed and said, "If Xi Chao heard this, he would never reach the Hehan River."

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Zeng Zi asked: "The girl is on the road when the groom's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The girl changes her clothes to a deep cloth and a white cloth to go to the funeral. If the girl is on the road and her parents die, she should return. "If the man-to-be comes to marry the daughter, but the daughter has not yet arrived, and there is a mourning ceremony of Qisui Dagong, what should be done?" Confucius said: "If the man does not come, he should change his clothes to the outer place; if the woman comes, she should change her clothes to the inner place; then she should take the throne and cry." Zengzi asked: "After the mourning is over, will the wedding ceremony be repeated?" Confucius said: "Sacrifice is not offered after the time is up, it is a ritual; why go back to the beginning?" Confucius said: "The family of marrying a daughter does not extinguish the candles for three nights, thinking of the separation. The family of marrying a daughter does not play music for three days, thinking of the successor. After three months, the temple is visited, which is called the coming daughter. Choose a day to offer sacrifices to the gods, which is the meaning of completing the daughter." Zengzi asked: "If the daughter dies before the temple is visited, what should be done?" Confucius said: "Do not move to the ancestors, do not bury her with the emperor's aunt, the man-to-be does not stick, do not give her money, and do not bury her in order, and return her to the party of the daughter's family to show that she is not a complete daughter." Zengzi asked: "Marry a daughter, on an auspicious day, and she dies, what should be done? "Confucius said, "A son-in-law mourns in the age of mourning, and removes the mourning after the burial. The same is true for a husband's death." Zengzi asked, "There are two orphans in a funeral, and two masters in a temple. Is this a ritual?" Confucius said, "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, and there is no two superiors in the sacrifices to the suburbs. I don't know if it is a ritual. In the past, Duke Huan of Qi hurriedly raised his army and pretended to be a master. When he returned, he hid in the ancestral temple. The temple has two masters, which started with Duke Huan. The two orphans in a funeral, it was in the past when Duke Ling of Wei went to Lu and encountered the funeral of Ji Huanzi. The King of Wei asked for condolences, but Duke Ai declined and was not allowed to do so. The Duke was the master and the guest condoled. Kangzi stood on the right side of the door, facing north; the Duke bowed and yielded, ascended from the east steps, and faced west; the guest ascended from the west steps to condole. The Duke bowed, stood up, and cried; Kangzi bowed and bowed his head in his seat, and the officials did not argue. The two orphans today are the fault of Ji Kangzi. ”

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For all positions, except for the funeral of a relative, the age of mourning below all ascend the throne and cry and mourn until he has finished his work, but he removes his mourning clothes to the east, ascends the throne, exposes his hair to the east, dances, and wears mourning clothes, bows to the guests and returns to his seat, cries and dances, sends the guests back to his seat, and the attendant tells him to take his place. After three days and five cries, the host goes out to see the guests off; all the host's brothers go out, and the crying stops. The attendant tells him that the work is done. He wears mourning clothes and bows to the guests. If the host's family is far away, he wears mourning clothes and goes. For the age of mourning clothes, cry while looking at the hometown; for the great merit, cry while looking at the door; for the small merit, cry when reaching the door; for the mourning clothes, cry while ascending the throne. Cry for the father's party in the temple; for the mother's wife's party in the bedroom; for the teacher outside the temple gate; for the friend outside the bedroom gate; for the acquaintance in the wild, set up the curtain. In all cases of mourning, no offerings are made. Nine times for the emperor, seven times for the princes, five times for the ministers, and three times for the scholars. The ministers mourn for the princes, but dare not bow to the guests. The ministers in other countries cry for their positions, but dare not bow to the guests. Brothers with the princes also cry for their positions. All those who hold positions have their bare backs. Those who know each other mourn first at home and then at the tomb, and all of them dance for the funeral, facing north from the host and dancing. In all cases of mourning, the father is the main mourner when the father is still alive; after the father dies, the brothers live together and each of them mourns for his own. If the relatives are the same, the elder one is the main mourner; if they are not the same relatives, the closest one is the main mourner. When hearing about the funeral of a distant brother, the mourning period is over, and the mourning period is not heard, and the bare backs are not worn, and the left hand is preferred to bow to the guests. The only people who hold positions without mourning are sisters-in-law and uncles; and women who come down without mourning wear hemp. In all cases of mourning, if a minister arrives, he should bare his backs, bow to him, dance to him, and then kiss him; for scholars, kiss him and then bow to him.