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When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
Zhang Cangwu was the ancestor of Zhang Ping. He once said to Ping’s father, “I am not as good as you.” Ping’s father did not understand why. Cangwu said, "You have a beautiful son." Ping was a few years old at that time. He put his hands together and said, "Old man, how can you tease your father with your son?"
The three-year mourning is finished, and the mourning of the period is finished. After the funeral, the old hemp belt is worn, and the mourning of the period is worn. The mourning of the great mourning is also the same. For the small mourning, there is no change.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Wang Hun’s second wife was a daughter of Yan from Langya. At that time, Wang was the governor of Xuzhou. After exchanging greetings, Wang was about to return the greeting, but the onlookers all said, "The king is a marquis and a governor of the state, and the new bride is a citizen of the state. I am afraid there is no way for us to return the greeting." So the king stopped. Wu Zi was afraid that his father did not respond to his greeting and the ceremony was not completed, so he was afraid that they were not husband and wife; he did not bow for him and said that he was Yan's concubine. The Yan family was ashamed of it. Because of his noble family background, I dared not leave.
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