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Wang Pingzi wrote to someone, saying of his son: "The morale is improving day by day, which is enough to relieve people's worries."
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
Gu Mengzhu once offered wine to Zhou Boren, but Boren refused to accept it. Gu Yinyi persuaded Zhu and said to Zhu, "How can you become a pillar of society just by yourself?" Zhou was delighted and they became confidants.
The Youyu clan raised the state elders in Shangxiang and raised the common elders in Xiaxiang. The Xiahou clan raised the state elders in Dongxu and raised the common elders in Xixu. The Yin people raised the state elders in Youxue and raised the common elders in Zuoxue. The Zhou people raised the state elders in Dongjiao and raised the common elders in Yuxue: Yuxue was in the western suburbs of the country. The Youyu clan offered sacrifices to the emperor and raised the elderly in deep clothes. The Xiahou clan harvested and offered sacrifices, and provided for the elderly in Yan clothing. The Yin people offered sacrifices in a veil, and provided for the elderly in white clothing. The Zhou people offered sacrifices in a crown, and provided for the elderly in black clothing. All the three kings provided for the elderly according to age. A son of an eighty-year-old man shall not participate in politics, a ninety-year-old man shall not be involved in politics, and a disabled person who is not supported by others shall not participate in politics. In the mourning of parents, there shall be no participation in politics for three years. In the mourning of mourning for the eighth year of ... Father's teeth go with the father, elder brother's teeth go in a line, friends do not exceed each other. Light responsibilities are shared, heavy responsibilities are divided, and gray-haired people are not carried. Gentlemen and old people do not walk alone, and common people and old people do not eat alone.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
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