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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
When Wei Jie first crossed the Yangtze River, he met General Wang. Because he was sitting at night, the general ordered Xie Youyu. When Jie saw Xie, he was so pleased that he no longer paid any attention to the king, and they talked in silence until dawn. The king was not able to enjoy the night. Jie was always weak and was always forbidden by his mother. That evening, he suddenly became seriously ill and never got up again.
The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing your body?” Confucius replied, “No more than things.” The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by the way of heaven for a gentleman? ” Confucius replied: “It is precious to have ‘never stop’. Just like the sun and the moon follow each other from east to west, it never stops. This is the way of heaven; it does not close for a long time. This is the way of heaven; things are accomplished without action. This is the way of heaven; it is bright after it is accomplished. ” The Duke said: “I am stupid and foolish. I am bothering your mind.” Confucius kicked the mat and replied: “A benevolent man does not go beyond things, and a filial son does not go beyond things. Therefore, a benevolent man serves his parents as he serves heaven, and serves heaven as he serves his parents. Therefore, a filial son completes himself.” The Duke said: “Now that I have heard this, what is the sin in the future?” Confucius replied: “Your Majesty’s words are a blessing to me.”
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Zhong Hui was Xun Ji's northern cousin, and the two had a bad relationship. Xun had a precious sword that was worth a million dollars and was always kept by his mother, Lady Zhong. Hui was good at calligraphy and imitated Xun's handwriting. He wrote a letter to his mother asking for the sword, but the mother still stole it and never returned it. Xun Xu knew that it was Zhong but had no way of getting it, so he thought about how to repay him. Later, the Zhong brothers spent tens of millions to build a house. When it was completed, it was very magnificent, but they were not allowed to move in. Xun was very good at painting, so he secretly went to paint the Zhongmen Hall, making the image of the Taifu, with his clothes and appearance as he usually is. When the second bell sounded inside, he was filled with grief and the house became deserted.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
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