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It's all because of the family rules.

Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."

Three-minute foresight

In all ways of governing people, nothing is more urgent than ritual. There are five classics of ritual, and nothing is more important than sacrifice. Sacrifice is not something that comes from the outside, but something that comes from the heart; the heart is afraid and respects it with ritual. Therefore, only the wise can fully fulfill the meaning of sacrifice. When a wise man offers sacrifice, he will surely receive blessing. This is not what the world calls blessing. Blessing means preparation; preparation is the name of a hundred obediences. Those who are obedient in everything are called prepared. It means that one should be devoted to oneself internally and obedient to the Way externally. A loyal minister serves his lord, and a filial son serves his parents. The root of this is the same. Obedient to the gods above, obedient to the lord externally, and filial to the parents internally. This is called preparation. Only the wise man can be prepared, and only when he is prepared can he offer sacrifice. Therefore, the sacrifice of the wise man is to show his sincerity and loyalty, to offer him things, to guide him with etiquette, to comfort him with music, and to participate in the time. It is clear and that is all. Do not seek to do it. This is the heart of the filial son. Offering sacrifice is to commemorate and continue the filial piety. Filial piety means nurturing. Obeying the Way and not going against the ethics is called nurturing. Therefore, when a filial son serves his parents, there are three ways: nurturing when they are alive, mourning when they are dead, and offering sacrifice after the mourning. In raising a child, we observe his obedience; in mourning, we observe his sorrow; in offering sacrifices, we observe his respect and timing. Those who fulfill these three ways are filial sons. After doing their best internally, they also seek help from outside, which is the wedding ceremony. Therefore, the king of a country takes the wife's words: "Please share my humble city with your daughter and serve the ancestral temple and the altar of the country." This is the basis of seeking help. In sacrifices, the husband and wife must be close to each other, so as to prepare the external and internal officials; if the officials are prepared, everything is complete. The pickled water grass, the minced meat of land products, and the small things are ready; the three animals are prepared for the sacrificial table, the fruits of the eight dishes are prepared, and the different insects, the fruits of the plants and trees, and the things of yin and yang are prepared. All the things born by heaven and the long things of the earth, as long as they can be offered, are all present, showing that everything is done. To use everything externally and to do one's best internally is the heart of sacrifice. Therefore, the emperor personally ploughs in the southern suburbs to share the prosperity; the queen raises silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the pure clothes. The princes ploughed in the eastern suburbs to share the prosperity; the ladies raised silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the crown and clothing. The emperor and the princes did not plough without him, and the queen and her wives did not plough without him. They should be sincere and honest. Sincerity is called perfection, and perfection is called respect. Only when respect is reached can one serve the gods. This is the way of offering sacrifices. When offering sacrifices in time, the gentleman is in order. The word "Qi" means to be in order. The one who is not in order is in order. Therefore, the gentleman is not in order unless he has a major event or is respectful. If he is not in order, he will not be on guard against things, and his desires will not be stopped. When he is about to be in order, he will guard against evil things, stop his desires, and his ears will not listen to music. Therefore, it is recorded in the book: "The one who is in order is not happy", which means that he dare not be distracted. If the heart is not careless, it must follow the way; if the hands and feet are not careless, they must follow the etiquette. Therefore, the gentleman's order is to concentrate on his wisdom and wisdom. Therefore, it takes seven days to disperse the order and three days to make it. The order is called order. Qi means the utmost wisdom, and only then can one communicate with the gods. Therefore, one day before the date, the palace minister stays with the lady, and the lady also disperses Qi for seven days and gathers Qi for three days. The king gathers Qi outside, and the lady gathers Qi inside, and then they meet in the Great Temple. The king stands in the east with a pure crown, and the lady stands in the east room with a deputy crown. The king holds the jade tablet and the naked corpse, and the great clan holds the jade tablet and the second naked corpse. When welcoming the sacrifice, the king holds the silk, and the ministers and officials hold the grass. The clan women hold the jar and follow the lady to offer the water. The king holds the phoenix knife and the lady offers the beans. This is called the closeness between husband and wife.

Three-minute foresight

When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.

I'm in charge of entertainment

Madam, don't steal my heart

In this month, the day is the longest, and the yin and yang are in conflict, and life and death are divided. Gentlemen should be vigilant, and they must cover their bodies when they are at home, and not be impatient. They should stop listening to music and not let anyone come. They should eat less and not be too harmonious. Control your desires, calm your mind, and keep all officials quiet and free from punishment, so as to determine the achievements of the late Yin. Deer antlers fall off, cicadas begin to sing. Pinellia grows, and violets bloom. In this month, do not use fire in the south. You can live in high and bright places, look far away, climb mountains and hills, and live in terraces.

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