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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Lord Lin said to the Chief Clerk Wang: "You are coming here with your collar pulled back. How magnificent and graceful you are!"
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
The first ten years of a person's life are spent as a child, learning. At twenty, one is weak and then crowned. At thirty, a man is considered strong and has a wife. At forty one is strong and can serve in an official capacity. At fifty, he is called Ai, and he serves as an official. Sixty is called Ji, which means to give instructions. Seventy is considered old, and time for passing on. Eighty or ninety years old is called mao, and seven years old is called dao. Even if the people of dao and mao are guilty, they shall not be punished. A hundred years is called Yi.
The left and right showed the arrows and asked them to pick up the arrows. If someone came in, the archer would sit and release a count. The guest party was on the right, and the host party was on the left.
Zhong Shiji was a man of intelligence and talent, but he did not know Ji Kang at first. Zhong Yao and other talented and wise men of the time went to look for Kang. Kang Fang was forging iron under a big tree, and Xiang Ziqi was assisting him in beating the drums. Kang Yang continued to hammer as if no one was around, and did not say a word for some time. Zhong got up and left. Kang asked, "What did you hear and why did you come? What did you see and why did you leave?" Zhong said, "I came because I heard and I left because I saw."
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
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