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The prime minister once went to Shitou in the summer to visit Yu Gong. When Yu Gong was making his prediction, the Prime Minister said, "It is better to simplify it in summer." Yu Gong said, "The world does not agree with your prediction."
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The noble and the humble are clear, the noble and the noble are distinguished, the harmony is not excessive, the younger and the older are not left out, and the banquet is peaceful and not chaotic. These five elements are enough to correct oneself and make the country peaceful. If the country is peaceful, the world will be peaceful. Therefore, it is said: "I observe the township and know that the kingly way is easy."
The person who peels melons for the emperor serves as his deputy and wears a gauze scarf. The ruler of a country should dress it up and wear a scarf with a silk scarf. The officials are burdened by it, the scholars are sick of it, and the common people are bitten by it.
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