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The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
When mourning clothes are worn, the crying is like going out but not turning back; the crying of mourning clothes is like going out and turning back; the crying of mourning clothes for the great merit is three bends and then folded; the mourning clothes for the small merit and the mourning clothes are acceptable. This is the expression of sorrow in the voice.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
When the king gives a carriage and horses, ride to pay tribute to the gift; wear clothes to pay tribute to the gift; do not dare to ride or wear without the king's order. When the king gives, bow and place the gift on the ground with your palm; when wine and meat are given, do not bow twice. In all gifts, gentlemen and villains have different days. When offering to the king, the senior officials send the butcher, and the scholars are relatives, all bow twice and bow to send. When serving the king a meal, if there are meat peaches and straw, the straw is removed for the senior officials and the meat is removed for the scholars, and all are done by the butcher. The senior officials do not bow in person, as it is the king's response to themselves. The senior official bowed and gave gifts and left. The scholar waited for the promise and left. He bowed again, but no one bowed in return. The senior official personally gave gifts to the scholar. The scholar bowed and accepted. He bowed again in his room. He did not put on clothes before bowing. When the enemy was not present, he bowed in his room. Whenever he made an offering to a respected person, he did not dare to report it. The scholar did not accept the congratulations of the senior official. The lower official accepted the congratulations of the higher official. When the relatives were present, he addressed the person as father. If someone gave him gifts, he addressed him as father and bowed to him. The ceremony was not grand, and the clothes were not full. Therefore, the fur coat was not covered, and the carriage was not arranged in a proper manner.
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