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Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Serving a gentleman, when a gentleman ascends or descends, he hands him a rein; when he starts to ride, he must show respect; when a gentleman descends, he must stand back. When riding in a second carriage, he must show respect, but not in the assistant carriage. For the second carriage, the princes have seven, the senior officials have five, and the junior officials have three. The horses and carriages of the two-carriage man are not to be trifled with. Look at the clothes, swords, and horses of the gentleman, and do not buy them.
When Wang Rong was seven years old, he used to play with other children. Look at the roadside plum trees with many fruits on their branches. All the children rushed to get it, but Rong did not move. When people asked him about it, he replied, "The tree grows by the road and has many fruits. It must be bitter plums." I picked them and found them to be true.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
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