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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Shen Gongyun said: "People call him a famous scholar, and he has three fights of firewood and thorns in his chest."
Wang Zijing said: "Going up the Shanyin Road, the mountains and rivers complement each other, making people overwhelmed. In autumn and winter, it is especially difficult to be damaged."
If the ministers go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission. When they return, they must offer. If the scholars go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission; when they return, they must tell. If the king works hard for them, they will bow; if they ask about their travels, they will bow before answering. When a king leaves his country, he is stopped by saying, "How can you leave the altar of the country?" The ministers say, "How can you leave the ancestral temple?" The scholars say, "How can you leave the grave?" The king dies for the altar of the country, the ministers die for the people, and the scholars die for the system.
Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
He Sikong went to Luoyang to respond to the order and became the attendant of the crown prince. Passing through Wuchang Gate, playing the piano on the boat. Zhang Jiying had never met him before, but he heard the clear sound of the strings at Jinchang Pavilion, so he got off the boat to congratulate him and they started talking. Then they got to know each other very well. He asked He, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to Luoyang to respond to orders. It's the right way to go." Zhang said, "I also have things to do in Beijing." Since there was a carriage on the way, he set out with He. He did not tell his family at first, but only found out after his family asked him about it.
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