Dai Tingjun
The etiquette of mourning is that if one is thin and emaciated, one's appearance will not be affected, and one's sight and hearing will not be impaired. One should not ascend or descend by the steps on the east side, and one should not enter or leave through the tunnels. The etiquette of mourning is that if there is a wound on the head, one should wash it, if there is an ulcer on the body, one should bathe it, if one is sick, one should drink wine and eat meat, and when the illness stops, one should return to the original state. If one cannot bear the mourning, it is like being unkind and unfilial. At fifty, you will not be ruined; at sixty, you will not be ruined; at seventy, you will only wear mourning clothes, drink wine, eat meat, and stay at home. Life and the future, death and the past. Those who know life mourn, and those who know death are sad. Those who know life but not death mourn but are not sad; those who know death but not life are sad but not mourn. When mourning, you cannot give a gift, and do not ask how much it costs. When asking about illness, you cannot leave it, and do not ask what it wants. When meeting someone, you cannot stay at the house, and do not ask where it lives. Those who give gifts do not say "come and take". Those who give to others do not ask what they want. When visiting a grave, do not climb the ridge, and when helping with the burial, you must hold the rope. Do not smile at a funeral. When bowing to someone, you must go against your position. Do not sing when looking at the coffin. Do not fly when entering. Do not sigh when eating. When a neighbor dies, do not pound the mortar together. When there is a funeral in the village, do not sing in the alley. Do not sing when visiting a grave. Do not sing on the day of mourning. Do not take the shortcut when sending off a funeral, and do not avoid muddy roads when sending off a funeral. When facing a funeral, one must have a sad look, hold a rope and do not smile, and when facing music, one must not sigh; when wearing armor, one must have an expression of being untouchable.
