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When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
The head of the Kyushu island enters the emperor's country and is called Mu. Those with the same surname as the emperor are called uncles; those with different surnames are called uncles; they are called marquises in other places; they are called lords in their own countries. Those in the East Yi, North Di, West Rong, and South Man, although they are big, are called sons. In the inner court, he called himself "Bu Gu", and in the outer court, he called himself "Wang Lao". When the common people and minor dukes entered the emperor's country, they called themselves "so-and-so", and in the outer court, they called themselves "son", and they called themselves "gu". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced north to meet the emperor, which was called "Jin". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced east and the dukes faced west, which was called "chao".
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Wang Rong said: "I lived with Ji Kang for twenty years, and I never saw him happy or angry."
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