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The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
Taifu Xie and Wang Wendu went to see Xi Chao together, but as time went by and Wang had not yet arrived, he wanted to leave. Xie said: "Can't you bear it for a moment for your life?"
When the body is restored, if there is a forest, the Yu people will set up steps; if there is no forest, the Di people will set up steps. The minor officials will be restored, and the restored ones will wear court clothes. The lord wears a roll, the wife wears a bowed Di; the senior official wears a black and red, the wife wears a jacket; the scholar wears a juebi, and the scholar's wife wears a tax dress. All of them rise from the east, walk in the middle room, face north three steps, throw the clothes in front, and the Si Ming receives them, and then descend from the northwest. If he is a guest, the official residence will be restored, but the private residence will not be restored; if he is in the wild, he will rise to the left hub of his carriage and restore. The clothes are not used to cover the body, nor are they used to bury it. When a woman is buried, she does not wear a robe. When a man is buried, he is called by his name, while a woman is called by her courtesy name. Only when crying is buried first, and then the funeral ceremony is performed.
Xi Jiabin said to Xie Gong: "Although I did not kneel down to talk deeply, my thoughts were profound." He also said: "Youjun visited Jiabin." Jiabin heard it and said: "They cannot be called visits, but they can be called friends!" Xie Gong thought Jiabin's words were right.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
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