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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
Prime Minister Wang rested his head on Zhou Boren's knees, pointed at his belly and asked, "What do you have in here?" He replied, "This is empty, but it can hold hundreds of you."
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
Duke Ai wanted to set up a "bo" for the funeral of Ru Zi Yu, and asked Youruo. Youruo said: "It's OK. Your three ministers also set up a "bo"." Yan Liu said: "The emperor rides a dragon carriage and a coffin curtain, and the princes ride a carriage and set up a curtain - the "bo" was set up for Yu Shen; the three ministers abandoned the carriage and set up a "bo", which is not in accordance with etiquette. Why do you learn from it!"
After Huan Xuan returned from Yixing, he met Sima Taifu, who was already drunk and sat with many guests. He asked people, "Huan Wen wants to be a thief, what should we do?" Huan Xuan fell down and could not get up. Xie Jingzhong was the Chief Secretary at the time. He raised the plaque and replied, "The former Duke Xuanwu dismissed the ignorant and promoted the wise, and his achievements surpassed those of Yi and Huo. He judged the various opinions with the help of his wise judge." The Grand Tutor said, "I know! I know!" He then raised the cup and said, "Huan Yixing, let me offer you a drink." Huan came out to thank him.
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