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Wang Gong wanted to invite Jiang Lunu to be the chief secretary, so he went to Jiang in the morning, but Jiang was still in the tent. The king sat down, not daring to speak immediately. It took a long time before he got there, but Jiang didn't respond. He called for someone to bring him some wine, drank a bowl himself, and did not share any with the king. Wang laughed and said, "Why do I have to drink alone?" Jiang said, "Do you want to drink too?" He asked him to pour more wine for Wang. After Wang finished drinking, he was able to leave. Before leaving the house, Jiang sighed and said, "It is difficult for people to judge for themselves."
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
Xiang Xiong was the chief clerk of Henei. There were official matters that were not as good as his, and the prefect Liu Huai was furious, so he beat Xiang Xiong and sent him away. Later, Xiong became a Huangmen Lang and Liu became a Shizhong, but they did not speak to each other at first. When Emperor Wu heard this, he ordered Xiong to restore the friendship between the monarch and his subject. Xiong had no choice but to go to Liu, kowtowed twice and said, "I came here in response to the imperial edict, but now the friendship between the monarch and his subject is broken. What do you think?" Then he left. When Emperor Wu heard that there was still discord, he angrily asked Xiong, "I asked you to restore the friendship between monarch and subject. Why did you break it off?" Xiong said, "The gentlemen of the ancient times promoted others with courtesy and dismissed others with courtesy. The gentlemen of today promote others as if they were putting them on their knees and dismiss them as if they were throwing them into the abyss. I am fortunate enough not to be a leader of the army in Liuhe. How can I restore the friendship between monarch and subject?" Emperor Wu agreed.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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