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Men and women have different heights. When a man is twenty, he is crowned and given a name. In front of the father, it is the son's name; in front of the king, it is the minister's name. When a girl is betrothed, she is given a name after she reaches the age of marriage.
If there is a minister who is completely incompetent and has no other skills, and whose heart is at ease, how can he tolerate it? If someone has skills, he will treat them as if they were his own; if someone is a wise man, he will like them in his heart, as if they were coming out of his mouth. If he can really tolerate them, he can protect his descendants and the people, and it is still beneficial! If someone has skills, he will be jealous and hate them; if someone is a wise man, he will oppose them and make them unacceptable: If he can really not tolerate them, he will not be able to protect his descendants and the people, and it is also dangerous! "Only benevolent people can exile them and drive them to the four barbarians, and not let them live with China. This means that only benevolent people can love people and hate people. Seeing the virtuous but not being able to promote them, promoting them but not being able to lead them, is fate; seeing the evil but not being able to retreat, retreating but not being able to stay away, is a mistake. To like what people hate and to hate what people like is to go against people's nature, and the harm will surely come to oneself. Therefore, a gentleman has a great way, and he must be loyal and faithful to gain it, and arrogant and complacent to lose it.
Only when the emperor mourns, people of different surnames cry. Duke Ai of Lu mourned Confucius, saying: "Heaven does not spare the old, and no one will give me a position. Alas, my father!" When a large county was destroyed, the dukes, ministers, officials, and scholars all wore their caps and cried in the great temple for three days, but the king did not raise the flag. Some said: The king raised the flag and cried in front of Hou Tu. Confucius hated people crying in the wild. Those who have not yet taken office dare not tax people; if they tax people, they should follow the orders of their fathers and brothers. Scholars should prepare themselves and dance morning and evening. They should wear mourning clothes for auspicious occasions, and they should mourn in the same month and move to the next month for music. The king has a gift of cloth to scholars.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Wang Junchong was the Minister of the Chancellery. He wore his official uniform and rode in a carriage. He passed by Huang Gong's wine shop and said to the passengers in the carriage behind him, "I used to drink with Ji Shuye and Ruan Sizong at this wine shop. We also had a trip to the bamboo forest. Since Ji Shuye died young and Ruan Gong passed away, I have been bound by the times. Although this place seems close today, it seems as far away as mountains and rivers."
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