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People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
When the dukes met the emperor, they called themselves "minister so-and-so" and "hou so-and-so". When they talked with the people, they called themselves "guaren"; when they were in mourning clothes, they called themselves "shizigu". When they attended sacrifices, they called themselves "filial son so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the inner court, and "great-grandson so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the outer court. When they died, they called themselves "hong", and when they came back, they called themselves "so-and-so fu fu yi". When they met the emperor after the burial, it was called "lei jian". When they talked about posthumous titles, it was called "lei".
Sacrifice is a great thing, and it is a preparation for everything. Is it the root of education to follow the preparation? Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman is to teach people to respect their rulers and elders externally and to be filial to their parents internally. Therefore, when a wise ruler is above, all ministers obey; when the ancestral temples and the altar of the country are respected, the descendants are obedient and filial. Do your best and be upright in your righteousness, and the teaching will come into being. Therefore, when a gentleman serves his ruler, he must practice it himself. What he does not like in his superiors, he will not use his subordinates; what he hates in his subordinates, he will not serve his superiors; if he does not do it to others, he will do it to himself, which is not the way of teaching. Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman must start from its root and follow the ultimate, and sacrifice is it? Therefore, it is said: sacrifice is the root of education. There are ten relationships in sacrifice: the way to serve ghosts and gods, the righteousness between the ruler and the minister, the relationship between father and son, the distinction between the noble and the humble, the killing of relatives and strangers, the bestowal of titles and rewards, the difference between husband and wife, the balance of political affairs, the order of the old and the young, and the relationship between superiors and subordinates. These are the ten relationships.
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
Taifu Xie gathered on a snowy day to discuss the meaning of the essay with his children. Suddenly it started snowing heavily. The Duke said happily, "What does the falling snow look like?" His brother's son Hu'er said, "It's somewhat like salt being sprinkled in the air." His brother's daughter said, "But not as good as willow catkins flying in the wind." The Duke laughed heartily. She is the daughter of your elder brother Wu Yi, and the wife of General-Left Wang Ning.
In the way of learning, it is difficult to have a strict teacher. Only when the teacher is strict can the way be respected, and only when the way is respected can the people know to respect learning. Therefore, there are two things that the ruler should not be a servant to his ministers: when they are corpses, they should not be a servant, and when they are teachers, they should not be a servant. The etiquette of the university, even if it is issued to the emperor, does not face north; this is to respect the teacher.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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