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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Shan Xia left Dongyang, Wang Changshi wrote to him to ask for Dongyang's help, saying: "You have inherited the harsh policies, so you can achieve peace and order."
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
Duke Huan said to his guests: "Ayuan is a man of virtue and words. If he were appointed as an official, he would be able to set an example for the officials. The court is misusing his talent."
The head of the Kyushu island enters the emperor's country and is called Mu. Those with the same surname as the emperor are called uncles; those with different surnames are called uncles; they are called marquises in other places; they are called lords in their own countries. Those in the East Yi, North Di, West Rong, and South Man, although they are big, are called sons. In the inner court, he called himself "Bu Gu", and in the outer court, he called himself "Wang Lao". When the common people and minor dukes entered the emperor's country, they called themselves "so-and-so", and in the outer court, they called themselves "son", and they called themselves "gu". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced north to meet the emperor, which was called "Jin". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced east and the dukes faced west, which was called "chao".
〔There are ten relationships in sacrifice〕Spreading the banquet and setting up the same table is to rely on the gods; calling the gods in the room and leaving the temple is the way to communicate with the gods. The ruler welcomes the sacrifice but not the corpse, which is to separate suspicion. If the corpse is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the minister, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the ruler; if the ruler is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the ruler, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the minister and the son. Therefore, those who do not leave the temple are clear about the righteousness between the ruler and the minister. In the way of sacrifice, the grandson serves the king's father's corpse. The one who serves the corpse is the son of the one who offers sacrifice; the father faces north to serve it, so as to clarify the way for the son to serve the father. This is the relationship between father and son. On the fifth day of the funeral, the king washes the jade cup and offers it to the nobles; on the seventh day of the funeral, the king offers the jade cup to the great officials; on the ninth day of the funeral, the king offers the scattered cup to the scholars and the officials, all in order of seniority. This is to clarify the order of superiority and inferiority.
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