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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Xi Jiabin asked Taifu Xie, "How does Lin compare to Ji?" Xie said, "Ji works hard, so he can be eliminated." He asked again, "How does Yin compare to Zhi?" Xie said, "You are superior, so Zhi is better than Yin. But you keep arguing, and I am afraid Yin wants to control Zhi."
Sun Xiu liked to shoot pheasants. When it came to the time to shoot, he would leave in the morning and return in the evening. All the ministers advised: "This is a small thing, why bother with it so much?" Xiu said: "Although it is a small thing, it is more upright than others, that is why I like it."
King Pengcheng had a fast ox, which he loved very much. Taiwei Wang won it by betting on archery. The King of Pengcheng said: "If you want to ride yourself, then that's fine; but if you want to eat, you should replace them with twenty fat ones. This way you don't abandon eating, and you keep what you love." The king then killed Tan.
Zixia lost his son and lost his sight. Zengzi expressed his condolences and said, "I have heard that when a friend loses his eyesight, he should cry for him." Zengzi cried, and Zixia also cried, saying, "Oh, God! I am innocent." Zengzi said angrily, "Shang, how can you be innocent? I served the Master with you between the Zhu and Si Rivers, and retired to live on the Xihe River until I was old. The people of the Xihe River suspected you of the Master, which was your first sin; you lost your parents, and the people did not know about it, which was your second sin; you lost your son and your eyesight, which was your third sin. And you said you were innocent!" Zixia threw his staff and bowed, saying, "I was wrong! I was wrong! I have been living alone for a long time."
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