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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The military governor asked Sun Xinggong: "What do you think of Liu Zhenchang?" He said: "Clear, elegant and simple." "What do you think of Wang Zhongzu?" He said: "Gentle and peaceful." "What do you think of Huan Wen?" He said: "High and bold." "What do you think of Xie Renzu?" He said: "Clear, easy and fluent." "What do you think of Ruan Sikuang?" He said: "Great and fluent." "What do you think of Yuan Yang?" He said: "Clear and convenient." "What do you think of Yin Hongyuan?" He said: "He is thoughtful." "What do you think of yourself?" He said: "My talents and experiences are not as good as those of the wise men; as for considering the times and covering the world, I am also not as good as them. However, although I am not talented, I often express my thoughts on Xuansheng, chant Laozi and Zhuangzi from afar, and live a desolate and lofty life. I don't care about the current affairs. I think this heart is unmatched."
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
Kang Sengyuan had deep eyes and a high nose, and Prime Minister Wang always adjusted him. Monk Yuan said: "The nose is the mountain of the face, and the eyes are the abyss of the face. If the mountain is not high, it will not be spiritual; if the abyss is not deep, it will not be clear."
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