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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
When Duke Huan was in Jingzhou, he wanted to influence the Jiang and Han rivers with his virtue, and was ashamed to use power and punishment to subdue people. The official was being beaten with a stick and was passing over the red-clothed man. Huan Shi was young and came from outside. He said, "I just passed by your Excellency and saw the clerk receiving a stick. The upper part touched the root of the cloud and the lower part touched the ground." His intention was not to criticize. Duke Huan said, "I am still worried about its severity."
Yu Zhigong had always had the ambition to rule the Central Plains, but he was not in a position of power during the reign of Emperor Wen and Kang. When Ji Jian became prime minister, he was wary of war and feared disaster. After discussing the similarities and differences with Zhi Gong for a long time, he finally took action. He mobilized the forces of Jing and Han and used all his boats and carriages to camp at Xiangyang. He assembled all the officers and soldiers, displayed their banners and armor, and personally taught them bows and arrows, saying: "This is how I shoot!" He then fired three times and folded his weapons, and everyone looked at him with all their might, and their morale increased tenfold.
Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
Zixia said: "The five ultimates have been heard, and I dare to ask what the three nothings are?" Confucius said: "Music without sound, ritual without body, mourning without clothes, this is called the three nothings. "Zixia said: "I have heard the three "nothings" briefly. May I ask which poem is closest to them?" Confucius said: "'The life of the morning and the evening is to be forgiven and secret' is the music without sound. 'The dignity and manners are so great that they cannot be chosen' is the etiquette without form. 'When the people are in mourning, they crawl to save them' is the mourning without clothes."
Yuan Yanbo was the Sima of Xie Annan, and all his men sent him to Lesheng Township. As he was about to leave, he was already feeling sad and sighed, "The mountains and rivers are so vast, yet they seem to stretch for thousands of miles."
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