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Ruan Guanglu lived in Dongshan, where he had nothing to do and was always content. Someone asked Wang Youjun about this, and Wang Youjun said, "This man is not afraid of favor or disgrace recently. Even the ancients who were in obscurity are no better than him."
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Zhuge Jin was the governor of Yuzhou, he sent his personal driver to the platform and said, "The child is good at talking. You can talk to him." He went to see Ke, but Ke refused to meet him. Later, they met in Zhang Fu's and Wu's seat. The deputy driver called Ke: "You are so loud, young man." Ke mocked him and said: "Yuzhou is in chaos, why are you so loud?" He replied: "When the king is wise and the ministers are virtuous, I have never heard of chaos." Ke said: "In the past, Tang Yao was in the upper position, and the four villains were below." He replied: "Not only the four villains, there was also Danzhu." Then everyone in the room laughed.
Chen Zhonggong was the chief of Taiqiu. There was a thief who robbed and killed a rich man, and he arrested him. Before reaching the place of departure, he heard on the road that some people were lying on the grass and refusing to get up, so he turned his carriage back to deal with it. The chief clerk said, "The thief is big, we should suppress him first." Zhonggong said, "How can it be better to kill a rich man than to kill one's own flesh and blood?"
The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
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