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Jianwen and Xu Xuandu shared the same words, Xu Yun: "It is difficult to raise the king and relatives."
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
Zeng Zi asked: "Can the funeral of a major merit be included in the offering of sacrifices?" Confucius said: "It is not a major merit! "Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "That is not what I mean. In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, their friends offer sacrifices; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can small merits be included in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Why must it be small merits? Those who are in mourning clothes and below offer sacrifices; that is etiquette." Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are not in mourning clothes do not offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, if the sacrifice is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can acquaintances, if they are in mourning clothes, participate in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "If you don't offer sacrifices, how can you help others?" Zengzi asked, "Can you take away your mourning clothes and participate in the sacrifices?" ”Confucius said: "Saying mourning and offering sacrifices are not rites; it is OK to reject each other."
Therefore, only after the behaviors of filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty and obedience are established, can one be a man; only after being a man can one govern others. Therefore, the sage kings valued etiquette. Therefore, it is said that the cap is the beginning of etiquette and the most important thing for good things. Therefore, the ancients valued the cap; the cap was performed in the temple; the temple was performed to respect things; respect things and dare not take the initiative to do things; do not take the initiative to do things, so they humble themselves and respect the ancestors.
Grand Tutor Xie asked his sons and nephews, "Why do you want to make them good when you are involved in other people's affairs?" No one said anything. The charioteer answered, "It's like wanting orchids and jade trees to grow in the courtyard."
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
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