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The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
Wang Dongting was the chief clerk of Xuanwu. One spring day, he and his brothers Shitou rode on horseback to the suburbs. Shi Yan and his fellow travelers marched together. Only one person from Dongting was always in front, and he could sense it several dozen steps away, but no one could understand it. Shitou and others were tired, and soon the imperial carriage returned. Everyone seemed to be an official, except Dongting Yiyi who was standing in front. His understanding is so quick.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
When Gongshu Wenzi died, his son Shu asked the king for a posthumous title, saying: "The sun and the moon have their time, and I will be buried. Please change his name." The king said: "In the past, Wei was in a disaster and famine, and the Master made porridge for the hungry people in the country. Wasn't it a kindness? In the past, Wei was in trouble, and the Master used his death to protect me. Wasn't it a loyalty? The Master listened to the government of Wei, improved its system, and made friends with the neighbors. The state of Wei was not humiliated. Wasn't it a culture? Therefore, the Master is called "Zhenhui Wenzi."
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
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