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Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
At nightfall at the tomb of Emperor Xiaowu, Wang Xiaobo came to the tomb and told his brothers: "Although the rafters and beams are new, they still bring with them the sorrow of the lost generations!"
Wang Ling went to see Xie Gong, and found Xi Zaochi was already sitting there, so he was supposed to lie on the same couch with him. The king wandered around without sitting down, so the duke invited him to sit on the couch opposite him. After he left, he said to Hu'er, "Zi Jing is indeed upright and honest, but people are too proud of you, which really damages his naturalness."
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
If the person who attends the funeral is not the host, the host will bow to the guest and see off the guest. The person who attends the funeral, from the Qisui and below, enters the left courtyard and faces north, cries until he is exhausted, takes off the mourning robe in the east of the order, takes the seat and bares the body, cries and dances with the host. Cry again and cry for the third time, and if there is a guest, the host bows to the guest and sees him off. The husband and wife treat each other as if they were crying morning and night, and their position does not change.
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
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