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Confucius was sitting with Duke Ai, who said, “May I ask who is the most important in human nature?” Confucius looked sad and replied, “Your Majesty, when you said this, it is the virtue of the people! How dare I answer without words? In human nature, politics is the most important.” The Duke said, “May I ask what is politics?” Confucius replied, “Politics is justice. If the monarch is just, the people will follow politics. What the monarch does, the people will follow. What the monarch does not do, how can the people follow?” The Duke said, “May I ask how to govern?” Confucius replied, “Husband and wife are different, father and son are close, and monarch and minister are strict. Three If the ruler is upright, all things will follow him. "The Duke said, "Although I am not like you, I would like to hear the reason why I practice the Three Words. Can I hear it?" Confucius replied, "In ancient times, loving people was the most important thing in governing; the most important thing in governing people was courtesy; the most important thing in governing courtesy was respect; when respect is the highest, the great wedding is the greatest. The great wedding is here! When the great wedding is here, wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person is to be close to him. To be close to the emperor is to be close to the emperor. Therefore, a gentleman should promote respect as a way to be close to the emperor; abandoning respect is to abandon one's relatives. Without love, there is no closeness; without respect, there is no justice. Love and respect are the foundation of politics!" The Duke said, "I would like to have something to say. But wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person, isn't that too important?" Confucius looked sad and replied, "To unite the two families, to succeed the ancestors, to be the masters of the heaven, earth, ancestral temples, and the land, why do you say that it is too important?" The Duke said, "I am stubborn! If I am not stubborn, how can I hear such words? I want to ask, but I can't say it. Please come in a little bit!" Confucius said: "If heaven and earth are not united, all things cannot grow. The great marriage is the heir of ten thousand generations. Why do you think you are already so important?" Confucius then said: "If you govern the ancestral temple at home, you will be able to match the gods of heaven and earth; if you govern the country with the etiquette of speaking frankly, you will be able to establish respect between superiors and subordinates. Shame for things will be able to revive it, and shame for the country will be able to revive it. Governing starts with etiquette. Etiquette is the root of governance!" Confucius then said: "The governance of the wise kings of the Three Dynasties must respect their wives and children. There is a way. The wife is the master of the parents. How dare you not respect her? The son is the successor of the parents. How dare you not respect her? A gentleman respects everything, and respecting oneself is the most important. The body is the branch of the parents. How dare you not respect it? Failure to respect oneself hurts one's parents; hurting one's parents hurts the root; hurting the root, the branches will die. These three are the images of the people. One's body is as good as one's body, one's son is as good as one's son, and one's concubine is as good as one's concubine. If a king practices these three, then the world will be united. This is the way of the great king. In this way, the country will be in harmony. ”

Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.




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