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Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
Zu Shishao loved money when he was young, and Ruan Yaoji liked to wear shoes. They both managed their own things, but they did not judge their gains and losses. When someone visited the ancestor, he saw the items and property. When the guest arrived, the screen had not yet been fully screened. I put two small baskets and chopsticks behind my back and leaned over to block them, feeling unsatisfied. Someone who visited Ruan saw him blowing on his wax clogs, and he sighed and said, "I wonder how many pairs of clogs I should wear in my lifetime?" He looked relaxed. Then the winner was decided.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The person who peels melons for the emperor serves as his deputy and wears a gauze scarf. The ruler of a country should dress it up and wear a scarf with a silk scarf. The officials are burdened by it, the scholars are sick of it, and the common people are bitten by it.
Yang Changhe was knowledgeable, good at calligraphy, riding, shooting, and playing Go. Most of the descendants of Yang were knowledgeable in books, but they were not good at archery and chess.
Xie Annan was dismissed from his post as the Minister of Personnel and returned east. Xie Taifu went to Huan Gong Company and rode out west, where they met at Pogang. Since we were about to part for a long time, we stayed for three days to talk. The Grand Tutor wanted to comfort him for losing his post, but Annan always cited other reasons. Although he stayed overnight, he never mentioned this matter. The Grand Tutor was filled with resentment and said to his fellow boatmen, "Xie Feng is a rare man."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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