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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When Su Jun arrived at Shitou, all the officials fled and only the attendant Zhong Ya stayed by the emperor's side. Someone said to Zhong, "Advance when you see an opportunity and retreat when you see difficulty. This is the ancient way. Your Majesty is bright and upright, so he will not be tolerated by the enemy. Why don't you take advantage of the situation instead of waiting for the consequences?" Zhong said, "I can't help the country when it is in chaos and I can't save the king when he is in danger. If we all retreat and try to save ourselves, I'm afraid Dong Hu will take the tablet and advance!"
There are three Gu in Luozhong Yaya: Liu Cui, whose courtesy name is Chungu, Hong, whose courtesy name is Zhonggu, and Mo, whose courtesy name is Chonggu. They are brothers. Wang Anfeng's nephew and son-in-law. Hong is the true ancestor. Feng Huiqing, a man of great integrity in Luoyang, was named Sun and was a Bozi. Sun and Xing Qiao were both grandsons of Prime Minister Li Yin, and they were all famous along with Yin's son Shun. At that time, it was called: "Feng Caiqing, Li Caiming, pure Xing."
The so-called sincerity of intention is not to deceive oneself. If you hate bad smells and love beautiful women, this is called being modest. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. A villain does evil things when he is idle, and he does everything. When he sees a gentleman, he becomes disgusted, and hides his evil and shows his good. If people look at themselves as if they can see their lungs and livers, what good will it do? This is called sincerity in the heart, which is reflected in the outside, so a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. Zengzi said: "Ten eyes are watching, ten hands are pointing, how strict it is!" Wealth enriches the house, virtue enriches the body, and the heart is broad and the body is fat, so a gentleman must be sincere in his intentions.
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
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