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When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
Zi Zhang came to see me after he had removed his mourning clothes. He gave me a zither, and played it in harmony. He played it and made a sound. He stood up and said, "I dare not fail to follow the rites established by the ancient kings."
Wang Changshi was ill and his relatives and friends had difficulty communicating. When Lord Lin arrived, the gatekeeper immediately opened the door and said, "There is a stranger at the door. I dare not refuse to open the door." The king laughed and said, "This must be Lord Lin."
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
The emperor's wife is called the queen, the princes are called the lady, the great officials are called the young lady, the scholars are called the woman, and the common people are called the wife.
Sincerity is self-realization, and Tao is self-Tao. Sincerity is the beginning and end of things, without sincerity, there is nothing. Therefore, a gentleman values sincerity. Sincerity is not only for self-realization, but also for the realization of things. To perfect oneself is benevolence; to perfect things is knowledge. It is the virtue of nature, and it is the way to combine the outside and the inside, so it is appropriate to take measures at the right time.
Shangshu Wang Hui once visited Wang Youjun's wife and asked, "Do you feel bad about your eyes and ears?" She replied, "White hair and falling teeth belong to the body; as for the eyes and ears, they are related to the spirit, can they be separated from people?"
The three brothers Wang Huangmen all went to see Xie Gong. Ziyou and Zizhong talked a lot about worldly matters, while Zijing just exchanged greetings. After he left, a guest asked Xie Gong, "Who of the three sages is better?" Xie Gong said, "The younger one is the best." The guest asked, "How do you know that?" Xie Gong said, "Auspicious people speak less, while impetuous people speak more. I can tell this by inference."
When Grand Tutor Xi was in Jingkou, he sent his disciples to write to Prime Minister Wang, asking for a son-in-law. The Prime Minister said to Xi Xin: "You can go to the east wing and choose anyone you like." The disciple returned and told Xi Xin: "The young men in the Wang family are all commendable. When they heard that you were looking for a son-in-law, they all behaved politely. Only one young man was lying on the bed with his belly exposed, as if he didn't hear anything." Xi Gong said: "This is exactly what we want!
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