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When Taiji Hall was first completed, Wang Zijing was the chief secretary of Lord Xie. Xie sent a plate to Wang to have him write on it. The king looked dissatisfied and said to Xin, "You can throw the chopsticks outside the door." Later, Xie saw the king and said, "What about hanging the inscription in the upper hall? In the past, people like Wei Dan in the Wei Dynasty also wrote it themselves." The king said, "That's why the Wei Dynasty did not last long." Xie thought it was a famous saying.
Zi SiWhen his mother died in Wei, Liu Ruo said to Zisi: "You are the descendant of a sage. People from all over the world come to you to observe the rites. You should be careful." Zisi said: "Why should I be careful? I heard that if there is the rite but not the money, a gentleman will not do it; if there is the rite and the money but not the time, a gentleman will not do it. Why should I be careful!"
When Yin Hao first governed Yangzhou, Liu Yin was on a journey. As the day was getting dark, he asked his attendants to fetch his bundle. People asked him why. He replied, "The governor is strict and I dare not travel at night."
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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