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Chen Zhuangzi died and went to Lu. The people of Lu did not want to cry. Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him about it. Xianzi said, "In ancient times, the officials did not finish their work. Even if they wanted to cry, how could they cry? Today's officials are involved in the government of China. Even if they want not to cry, how can they not cry? Moreover, I have heard that there are two ways to cry: one is to cry for love, and the other is to cry for fear." The Duke said, "Yes, then what should we do?" Xianzi said, "Please cry in the temples of different surnames." So he cried with the Xianshi. Zhongxian said to Zengzi: "The Xia Dynasty used Mingqi to show that the people were ignorant; the Yin people used sacrificial utensils to show that the people were knowledgeable; the Zhou people used both to show that the people were suspicious." Zengzi said: "Is it not so! Is it not so! Mingqi is a ghost instrument; sacrificial utensils are human instruments; why did the ancient people die for their own parents?" Gongshu Mu's half-brother died, and he asked Ziyou. Ziyou said: "Is it a great merit?" Di Yi's half-brother died, and he asked Zixia. Zixia said: "I have never heard of it before; the people of Lu wear Qisui for him." Di Yi wore Qisui. The Qisui of today is what Di Yi asked.
Zhongni tasted it, offering sacrifices to his parents was sincere, and his steps were hurried and counted. After the sacrifice, Zi Gan asked, "When you said sacrifice, it was full of people and clear. But now your sacrifice is not full of people and clear. Why is that?" Confucius said, "Full of people means that one is far away; clear of people means that one is self-reflective. If one is far away, or if one is self-reflective, how can the gods communicate with each other, and how can there be full of people and clear of people? Feedback, music is complete, offer the offerings, arrange the rituals and music, and prepare all the officials. A gentleman is full of people and clear of people, how can he be confused? Is there only one thing to say? Everyone has his own duties."
Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.
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