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Liu Danyang and Wang Changshi gathered at the Wuguang Temple, where General Huan was also present. They discussed the Western Dynasty and the people in Jiangzuo. Someone asked, "How does Du Hongzhi compare to Wei Hu?" Huan replied, "Hongzhi has fair skin, while Wei Hu has a lively and handsome spirit." Wang and Liu liked his words.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
When the senior officials and scholars meet the king, if the king is pleased with them, they shall step aside, bow twice and kowtow; if the king greets them, they shall step aside and dare not return the bow. When the senior officials and scholars meet, even if they are of different ranks, if the host respects the guest, he shall bow to the guest first; if the guest respects the host, he shall bow to the host first. Unless they are mourning or meeting the king, they shall return the bow.
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
When the senior officials and scholars leave their country, they shall cry for the altar and the country. They shall wear white clothes, white skirts, white caps, white hems, white sandals, and white caps, and ride horses. They shall not be early. They shall not offer food, nor shall they persuade people to be innocent; women shall not be concubines. They shall return to the service after three months.
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
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