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The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Someone who came and went said: Mr. Yu has the intention of going east. Someone said to the prince: "You can be more cautious in case of an emergency." The prince said: "Although Yuan Gui and I are both ministers of the king, we are originally commoners. If he wants to come, I will just put on my horn scarf and return to my black clothes. Why should I be more cautious?"
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
The king comforts the officials and the women in the palace; the officials comfort the elders in the house and the younger nephews. The king and the officials honor their parents, wives, and eldest sons, but not their concubines; the scholars honor their parents, wives, eldest sons, and concubines. If a concubine has a son, the parents do not honor his corpse. In all cases of honoring corpses, the parents are honored first, and the wife and children are honored later. The king honors his ministers, the parents hold their sons, the son honors his parents, the wife serves her uncles and aunts, the uncles and aunts honor their wives, the wife holds her husband, and the husband holds his wife and his brothers. Honoring corpses is not the place for the king. In all cases of honoring corpses, one must jump.
Emperor Xiaowu asked Wang Shuang, "How do you compare to your brother?" Wang replied, "You are both elegant and outstanding. I am not as good as you. Loyalty and filial piety cannot be imitated by others!"
Ziyun: "Rites are used to clarify doubts and distinguish subtle things, which are used to censor the people. "Therefore, the noble and the humble have different levels, clothes are different, and there are positions in the court, so the people will give way to each other. Confucius said: "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two masters in the family, and no two superiors. This shows the people that there is a difference between the monarch and the minister." The Spring and Autumn Annals does not refer to the funeral of the king of Chu and Yue, the ritual king does not refer to the sky, and the officials do not refer to the monarch, fearing that the people will be confused. The Book of Songs says: "Why don't we meet each other in the morning? I am still worried about it." Confucius said: "The king does not ride in the same car with people of the same surname, and ride in the same car with people of different surnames but wear different clothes, showing that the people do not dislike it." In this way, the people can still kill their monarch with the same surname.
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