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Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "What is his true height like?" He replied: "I am a thousand-jin tall." The prince laughed at his words. Bo Ren said: "It is better to use a curled-horn ox, which is worse than a coiled ox."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
At first, Huan Nanjun and Yang Guang persuaded Yin Jingzhou together, saying that it was advisable to seize the southern barbarians from Yin in order to establish themselves. Ji also understood his intention immediately, and once when he was on a walk, he left his lodgings without delay and never returned. Those who have no foresight inside or outside have a gloomy mood, which is far from the calmness of fighting for life. There are many comments on this at the time.
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
When Yin Hongqiao was appointed as the governor of Yuzhang County, before his departure, he left with about a hundred letters. When they reached the stones, they threw them all into the water, and said, "Those who sink will sink, and those who float will float. Yin Hongqiao cannot write a letter."
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