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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "

Ziyun: "Filial piety to serve the king, respect to serve the elders", showing that the people are not two-faced, so the gentleman does not seek official position when he has a king, but only calls the two kings on the day of divination. The mourning of a father for three years and the mourning of a ruler for three years show the people that they should not doubt. When parents are alive, one dare not take possession of their own person or property for personal use, showing the people that there is a distinction between superiors and subordinates. Therefore, the emperor has no guest etiquette within the four seas, and no one dares to be the master. Therefore, when the ruler welcomes his ministers, he ascends from the steps of the east and takes the throne in the hall, showing the people that they dare not take possession of their rooms. When parents are alive, gifts and offerings are not given as carriages and horses, showing the people that they dare not take possession of their own. With this, the people will still forget their parents and be disloyal to their ruler. Confucius said: "The first thing in etiquette is money and silk, which is to make the people first serve and then pay salaries." If money is put first and etiquette second, the people will benefit; if there is no excuse and the market is traded, the people will quarrel. Therefore, the gentleman will not look at the gifts if he cannot see them. The Book of Changes says: "Not ploughing and harvesting, not weeding and weeding, is a disaster." With this, the people will still value salaries and despise behavior. Confucius said, "A gentleman does not take all the benefits and leave them to the people." The Book of Songs says, "There are those who have left their crops, there are those who have not gathered their crops, and they are the benefits of the widow." Therefore, a gentleman does not farm when he is in office, and does not fish when he is in the field; he does not work hard to eat delicacies; a senior official does not ride on a sheep, and a scholar does not ride on a dog. The Book of Songs says, "When you pick radishes and mulberries, do not lower your body; do not violate the virtuous words, and die together with you." With this, the people in the streets still forget righteousness and fight for benefits, and lose their bodies.

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