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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Fan Yuzhang said to Wang Jingzhou: "You are a man of great talent and vision, a real talent of the future." Wang said: "Without such an uncle, how could I have such a nephew?"
Song Xi was once a concubine of General Wang, and later belonged to Xie Zhenxi. Zhenxi asked Xi: "How am I compared to the king?" He replied: "The king is like you, a farmer and a nobleman!" This was because Zhenxi was a seductive woman.
Guo Zigao said, "Burial means hiding; hiding means that people cannot see it. Therefore, clothes are enough to decorate the body, the coffin is surrounded by clothes, the outer coffin is surrounded by coffin, and the earth is surrounded by the outer coffin; turn the soil and plant trees."
The enemy of the father will not live under the same sky with him. The enemy of the brother will not fight back. Friends are from different countries. There are many fortifications in the suburbs, which is a disgrace to the nobles. The land is vast, but it is uncultivated, which is also a disgrace to the scholars.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
The Lord of Wei was the brother-in-law of Xiao Zuzhou. Xie Gong asked Sun Sengnu, "What do your family say about the Lord of Wei?" Sun replied, "They say he is a hereditary successor." Xie said, "That's not true. The Lord of Wei is a man of reason and justice." At that time, he was compared to Yin Hongyuan.
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